Week 1 Review: The Big Picture

Overall, last week went really well! Beginning each day early allowed me to spend time reading God’s Word and praying, which left me feeling renewed and motivated throughout my day. I found that not only was I doing challenge activities, but I was actually going above and beyond with other needed tasks. And here’s the most awesome part…I enjoyed it! Yes, you heard that right. My husband actually had me repeat it when I told him.

I ENJOYED IT! Hooray!

I enjoyed my tasks, but I also enjoyed the layers of stress and anxiety melting away with each wipe of the baseboards and each sweep of the mop!There were tasks that have needed done for a LONG time and this week I showed my home some love by actually getting them done. It feels so incredibly good! Sure it took a bit more time than I would have normally wanted to spend on these tasks in particular, but I recognize that the extra time also is a consequence of not taking care of these things on a consistent basis.

My husband encourages me regularly that if I would just do things consistently, a little bit at a time, it wouldn't build up and be as big of a pain in my booty. It is only when I let things go and get out of hand -- because of laziness and procrastination -- that I feel most overwhelmed. I know he is right. I just don’t function like that naturally. I wish I did…so that is what I am working towards. Baby steps.

I have also enjoyed how this challenge has opened the door for great conversations between my husband and I concerning expectations we have for one another, struggles we each have, and what makes us feel loved or unloved in regards to the upkeep and care of our home. I think we are more understanding now of where the other one is coming from and how each one of us feels when things around the house are or are not done. I was most encouraged to hear that what makes him feel the most loved is my self-sufficiency which allows him to focus on what he does best…work. I don’t bother him throughout the day with calls and emails, freeing him from distractions about what is or is not going on at home. The biggest thing I need to work on for him, I think is to not leave things lying around (ie: cups of tea, piles of dishes, clothes) or have a plan in place for when certain things will get done. If there is a pile of laundry on the floor, it is okay if my plan is to wash it tomorrow, but if it sits there for days…well, that is not good. I have learned that he understands and expects that not everything will get done – that our house should feel and look “lived in” – but he does like to see that I have a plan in place to take care of things so that they aren’t piling up all around us. I think that was a good reminder.

Because the reality is, I don't want cleaning, housework, schedules, and lists to be what my children remember about me. I want them (when I have more than one -- ha ha!) to remember laughing, playing, learning, and loving. I want them to feel valued. I want them to know that my greatest joy in life is being their mother and caring for them. I want them to know they are special and more important than any chore or task that I could spend my time on. I don't want to miss a single moment of life with my family because I am too focused on doing the dishes. Instead I want to be diligent in doing what needs to be done to facilitate more quality interactions that aren't tainted with thoughts about what else needs to be cleaned.

The Big Picture, for me, is that I clean so that we have a place to connect as a family. I want to provide my husband a space to come home to and not have to ‘work’ – a place of refuge, a place to rejuvenate after a long day at the office. I also want to provide a space for my little one and I to be able to do fun activities together without the clutter/mess distractions. Thinking through the ‘whys’ of cleaning and caring for my family and home this week has really helped me see this bigger picture rather than the small mundane tasks that I normally focus on.

I'd call that a very successful first week,wouldn't you? :) Let's see what week 2 has in store for me...

Finding Purpose

Day number one of the 31 Days to Clean challenge kicked off with writing a mission statement...well, what was supposed to take a day, actually took me all week. I really needed to think this through before trying to put it into words. I'm also a little behind on the actual cleaning tasks now, but it was worth it to spend the extra time on this first heart task. (Not to mention, I have had a sick kiddo...which slowed some things down this week, too.)

You see, I struggled with the question of why I want a clean home and realized a mission statement for me needed to be a bit more broad. There are other things besides cleaning that I need to focus on like the emotional and spiritual health of my home and I wanted those included as well.

After jotting down some thoughts and then reading some of the other statements people wrote, I ended up with what I think is a very challenging and yet accomplishable mission statement. (A couple of phrases are based on others' statements because they said it so well and concisely - which I struggle with.) I also added verses to each of the sub-statements as a reminder of the Biblical foundation of what I am setting out to do.

my mission is to first spend each day pursuing God so that His character is reflected in my work and interactions (Matt. 6:33, James 4:8), and second, to attend to the needs of my family by intentionally creating and maintaining an organized and peaceful home (1 Cor. 14:33), working consistently at those things that need to be done every-single-day (Prov. 31:27, Prov. 14:1), building up my husband and children through encouragement and affirmation (Luke 6:45, Eph. 4:29, Prov. 31:26, Psalm 139:4), and slowing down so I can "be all there" -- giving each person and/or task the quality time they deserve (Psalm 39:6).

What will this require of me?? Discipline.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

Seriously, writing this mission statement out was painful...let alone, actually putting this stuff into practice. But, oh, how I want to experience the peace and the joy that comes from it. I want to know what it is like to not worry about what needs cleaned next so that I have more time to work on intentional activities with my girl...or that I can feel good about sitting on the couch and reading a book without that guilty feeling coming over me for the 5 tasks that I know need to be done.

And I don't want my life to be constantly run my a list...by a set of tasks. I want flexibility and I am learning that flexibility comes with discipline. Sigh. Maybe discipline should have been my word of the year instead of humility? :) Either way, I'm learning humility by even admitting that I don't have it all together and need to work on certain aspects of my homemaking and attitude.

So what is the answer? How do I live this mission statement out?

Part of the answer is new habits...the mission statement I have written down can only be accomplished if I create new habits. Accomplished effectively and consistently that is. And the first one has nothing to do with housework specifically, but about addressing and getting my heart right at the beginning of each day. If my focus begins with God, how can my day not go a little better? How can my attitude towards the needs of my family and the tasks of the day not shift to one of joy and service if I start my day laying down everything to Him? Oh, and did I mention, dying a little bit to self?? Yeah, that too...

Goal #1: Wake up early (before the baby), shower, and read my bible and journal.

The second part of living out my mission statement effectively, will be to keep it in front of me as a reminder. It is so easy to come up with an idea like this and then walk away from it, forgetting what you are setting out to do after a week or so. I am going to try to come up with some way creatively to display mine...I still don't know where to put it yet, maybe in my Home Management Notebook so that I look at it every day? That might work...

Finally, I think in order to live out this mission statement, I need to be open to critique. I need to allow my family to share if I am "too busy" and not giving them the time they need, or if I am "too busy" and not keeping up on the laundry, etc. I also want them to be able to share their ideas of how to make our home a more peaceful environment without getting defensive. Open communication and sharing -- checking in on what is working and what is not working.

Goal #2: Make an effort to regularly ask my family what I can work on and what is going well. How can I serve them better?

Do you think you would have better consistency in your homemaking if you had a mission statement to focus on? I encourage you...whether you are doing this challenge or not, consider writing a statement. What a great reminder to have to guide you through some of those mundane tasks of the day!

31 Days to Change My Heart

My Proverbs 31 study is kicking my ummm...hiney. :) And I am still only one verse in!! ha ha! I am struggling with  my goals -- albeit, doing better in some areas than others. While I know that change takes time, I am certain that is not my only issue. I could take all the time in the world to work on goals and habits, but if my heart doesn't truly understand why I am doing what I am doing then I will not succeed. You see, I started this new blog with a post entitled, Changing My Mindset, but what I truly need is a Change of Heart.

So while continuing my study of P31 little by little, I am adding another element. I have decided to take the Homemaker's Challenge in May using Sarah Mae's new ebook, 31 Days to Clean: Having a Martha House the Mary Way. I love how she addresses ideas related to cleaning and staying on task, but she is challenging us as homemakers, mothers, singles...women...to think about the heart behind that housework. Mae puts it best when she says,

"31 Days to Clean is about the “why,” the vision and the heart for taking care of our domains...[it] is a faith journey towards ruling, subduing, and loving. We are forgoing perfection; we are choosing life."

I've already peaked at the first week...and boy howdy! I am gonna be challenged -- not necessarily with the Martha stuff...but the Mary stuff all the way. sigh. Day one kicks off with asking the question, "Why do I want a clean home?" and then writing a mission statement based on the answers. What a great idea -- and a great reminder to look at when you are feeling icky about cleaning. Looking forward to not only a clean house after 31 days, but also a cleaner heart so to speak. :)

I'll be joining others and blogging weekly about progress, challenges, and tips for areas we already have a handle on. Do you want to join in? Sign up here today...and get a copy of the ebook now -- it's only $4.99 -- that's a pretty good deal in my opinion for something to challenge my thinking a bit. :)

Let me know if you're joining in the fun...err...challenge. ha ha!