P31 -- What does she have to teach me?

Last week, I began digging deeper into the Proverbs 31 woman...I don't know why, but she was "calling my name" so to speak. Okay, I do know why...but I didn't really want to admit it when I first cracked open Proverbs to re-visit this little lady and all that she has to teach me!

I remember when I was in college, I did a study with some older women in my church on this elusive woman and while I had things to learn then, I think it was more prep work for what I am experiencing now that I am older. It would appear that marriage and becoming a mother are the current sharp chisels with which God is choosing to mold and shape me at this time in my life. Have I mentioned it is painful? Have I mentioned how much I am fighting it? Have I mentioned how much I want the change and I want to be different, but sometimes...sometimes, I just don't want to put the effort into it? Or more accurately, I don't want to allow God in to do some "clean up" in the most inner parts of my heart.

Yet, here I am...digging into the seemingly unattainable idea of the Proverbs 31 woman. The truth is, I don't really believe she is all that unattainable, but realistically,  it could take a lifetime to be molded and shaped into the picture I see in this passage.

So, I have embarked on a journey to study one verse a week or every other week depending on the lessons I am learning and how much work I need on my applications for said lessons. :) I am using various resources to help in my study including Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George, who has done an excellent job of laying out some great applications that encourage me to get beyond my narrow focus based on past study.

Last week I started with verse 10:

"A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."

In this one verse, the writer kicks it off talking about her CHARACTER and her VALUE. And I am pretty sure it is her character that determines her value. By the way, other translations use the phrase "virtuous woman" instead of wife because this doesn't necessarily only apply to those of us who are married, but also to women in general. I think there will be more to learn about her character in subsequent verses, but right off the bat we are talking about a woman who is morally excellent, upright, righteous, honorable, and honest. I am pretty sure she isn't a gossip, and doesn't nag or try to control her husband...she is probably full of grace and the most patient mother on the planet too!

And go figure, it is these things that make her so valuable...to the husband that finds her! You see, she is the "sparkling jewel in her husband's life!" (George, p.24) As another verse in Proverbs puts it, "She is not disgraceful. She is of noble character and is her husband's crown." (12:4) In a world that is desolate and full of grossness, I ,too, am "to supply beauty in the lives of my husband and children as they struggle together. I am to light up the home with sparkle no matter how hard times are." (George, p.24)

Gah! Just reading this one verse and looking into it a bit more, I already see I am in big trouble! I rarely feel like I am bringing sparkle to my family's life...nor do I feel like I can live up to the definition of "virtuous." I definitely do not feel like my husband's crown...So how do I work this out in real life?

I love how Elizabeth George broke this out into two sections: Practical Skills and Emotional Stability.

Regarding the Practical skills, I can definitely work on my homemaking, my money management, and the big kicker -- TIME management to grow in becoming more like the Proverbs 31 woman.  Over the past week, I have already felt a difference in two of those areas just by creating small goals for myself and sticking to them. By accomplishing those goals throughout the week, I was more eager to accomplish other tasks and was pleasantly surprised at how well my house ran over the course of the week. I was also pleasantly surprised that I wasn't as crabby as I am when things are a mess all around me.The atmosphere was just so much better -- much less irritation -- and that makes all the difference in the world!

While practical skills are easier to tackle, the even greater challenge for me in becoming like this "virtuous woman" will be the Emotional Stability. Three key areas to master, according to George, are my tolerance(endurance), my temper(heat of mind, passion), and my tongue. Why? Because as the virtuous woman of this house, I determine the emotional atmosphere under my roof. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Yes, three ughs. One per area. :) What privilege to be the emotional barometer of my home...and yet, what a great responsibility.

So with that, here are my P31 Goals for the week. I have decided to keep the original four that I started with for at least another week to evaluate how I am doing in making these goals actual habits and I am adding a couple of new ones.

1. Do one load of laundry a day (if needed).
2. Wash dishes after every meal. Or rinse and put in dishwasher.
3. Clean off the office desk every night and prepare list for the morning.
4. Go grocery shopping! Cook at least six meals this week.
5. Keep the stairs cleaned off...don't use it as a junk holder.
6. Read my Bible 5x this week.
7. Work through and write down a list of the top 5 things that I need to pray about daily -- the things that I want to give over to God so that maybe they will become less and less a part of me. I want this list to address some of the following thoughts:  I want to replace anger with a peaceful heart  (Prov. 14:30), replace instant gratification with the ability to wait (Prov. 19:2), replace self-indulgence with self-control (Prov. 25:28),  I want to speak less often and only after thinking about what I'm going to say (Prov. 10:19, Prov. 15:28), and speak only what is kind and wise (Prov. 31:26). AND PRAY ABOUT THEM! :)